Juggling my world...

A week ago I started a new set of classes. One is called Social Behaviors and the other is my Database Building. Yeah *sigh* I am feeling a bit overwhelmed. Guess who decided to get a job? Yup, you guessed it, my kids... no, no I joke. I got a job, although I am happy as heck about it, at the same time I am a little sad. I am the new photo specialist at Walgreen's, I am working on training for head photo specialist. Yeah we will see how that works out.
So, here I am in a class that requires a butt ton of reading and the other wants me to build something I have no clue how to do because I have not had the time to come home and learn about it. I am so disappointed in myself. I know I can do this, but another side of me almost wants to say, why bother? Even as I write this I want to take my hands apply them to my head and pull the hair I have left from my head!
So lets break this down, I have a new job, I am attending two classes that require A LOT of my attention, my house is in shambles, my bills are paid but I still owe a lot of money, my new job is 45 minutes away and I cannot afford to gas to keep driving, and I miss my kids cause I have been working so much, my husbands division lost 4 people that left him with only one, himself, so now I NEVER see him either..... yeah that sums up most of my stress right now. Maybe to you, reader, this may not look like a lot to worry about, but to me.... I am going out of my mind!! Being a head photo person is pretty busy stuff. Not only do I print out film and pictures that people upload, I also have to print out a "to do" list from my bosses and make sure all of that is done, I have to go through the baked good isle and make sure none of it is outdated, I also have to keep everything clean, and take in DHL shipments....and AND be a cashier!!! Please don't mistake my rambling as a complaint, this is not a complaint this is a outlet for the stress I am feeling, maybe if I write down all I have to do and read it I will see its not all so bad, yeah its not working.
I am sitting here with another thought that I am choosing to not write down, but this thought is making me feel like shit. I am so angry about this "thought" that I want to scream at everyone. I want to ask why me? LOL you are reading this and thinking WTF Amber. I am still not going to say.
If you are still with me, thank you. I just reread this and its not making a whole lot of sense. Its like I am writing down my actual thoughts as they occur, and you are right. That is where my mind is. Everywhere.
Right now I am supposed to be finishing up my laundry or chores or whatever. And then I need to do my homework. Yeah that is not going to happen, at least not right now. Its hard to concentrate when you feel so damn pissed.
Well dear reader, I am going to end this writing catastrophe and put my kids to bed, its past their bed time. I am a bad mommy. Oh well, they will be ok. Good night, and pray that I find my way through this haze of anger.

Amber