Juggling my world...

Today I went on base with my hubby, my fantastic kiddos, and my girlfriends awesome kids, we watched Home Alone, they kids got a kick outta it. I was giggling too, then we went to pizza and then back home, it was such a nice day!

Now my thoughts.....
I have been trying to find my christian heart that I lost touch with for a while. As you have read in my old posts. This journey that God has me on can get a little emotional from time to time, and TIME again. I am not good with emotions, I don't know how to break them down until I break down. I don't really know that I am stressing out, or that something is bothering me until someone points out that I am not myself. Then, when its pointed out I sit there and think, what is going on with me now?

I run away from myself alot. I am afraid of being by myself because of my thoughts. I am just too damn emotional. Perhaps that is why I like to have a lot on my plate?

I need to clean out my closet, so to speak, one thing I am going to keep is my volunteer thing with G.L.A.D. designing a web page, haha, which I have been avoiding as well. I am pathetic. I have my ideas, which I will be drawing out tomorrow on paper, then putting it together on my nifty laptop. Then when I give them my paperwork I will be getting administrative permission for the website, and then it is allllll mine!! Muh HA HA HA HA!! The world shall see my work!!! Its all apart of my evil plan to take over the internet!! *lightning crashes*

ahem...

Anyways, I have some medical issues going on. Which turns out bothers me more than I thought. I began to view myself as a nuisance, so stupidly I automatically thought EVERYONE else thought the same thing. I am just too damn hard on myself. I AM MY OWN WORST ENEMY. My health conditions are NOT my fault, I need to get that in my head.

Anyone know anything about brain abscess besides the fact that it is a bad thing? What about effusions? Anyone?

So anyway Monday I get to do a tilt test, to test my heart and see just how bad I am about fainting. Its funny I would call someone like me a dumb ass. Always freaking fainting every time I stand up. *mumbles* dumb ass......

OK so I will be seeing a ENT specialist soon. Can you believe the receptionist accidentally cancelled my consult? So I had to call my doc and ask for them to put it back in the system so I can make my appointment. Which I have not made yet.

Well look out Sunday, cause here comes Amber, going to church again. I am loving this church thing.