Juggling my world...

So far a lot has happened, again. Yeah, yeah I know I don't EVER write on here, but you know what? Life takes you for a ride, and sometimes you don't get the time to do things like this. Well, be proud, I found the time!

These past few months I have met some pretty freakin cool people, and then again these past few months I have met some people that seriously deserve to get kicked!

I started working at walgreens, I was all sorts of excited. The store was set to open in July, I got the job in June, and after a month.... I was one of the best damn photo specialist out there! The people that were at the store I was training at, were pretty cool. Well, its almost October, and the store has not opened yet.... yeah.....
so those people at the store who thought, I was only going to be there for a short time, well they are not so cool with me anymore. They are annoyed that I am still in their store, and annoyed with the other people that are from my store. They want their store back, they are tired of the fact that when they go in, they have nothing to do cause there is so many people there to do something that everything gets done before 2pm. I don't hate them for feeling this way, I feel the same. I want my OWN STORE, I am tired of being kicked out of the photo place. The very place that I was hired for! Now I get stuck searching the floors looking for something to do. Well with that problem came another. Driving. Having to drive 45 minutes there and back everyday was bad for me on gas. I had to fill the tank up like 2-3 times a week! I was getting help from my kingsland people with gas, but I felt bad for asking for money, which drove me crazy!

What did I do with my kids in the meantime? My friend who was kind enough to help me out with my kids, I felt like I was putting too much strain on our friendship cause of this damn job. I miss Mike. He is deployed so its like I am a single mom right now. This freakin sucks. Anyway so I talk to my boss, explain I cannot afford gas and stuff, and he tells me that I can start coming to work once a week until our store opens (if that ever happens!). Whew! Thank God!! I applyed for a sub job at the schools to be a lunch lady. I got the job of course, now lets see if they call.

I am still in school, but with all this stuff happening to me, all these thoughts running through my mind I cannot seem to keep this together. I want to cry, I want to scream, I want to run away! This is not the answer of course. I cannot seem to keep it together enough to actually remember anything I am learning. I keep forgetting that I have a class on Tuesday nights. Then when I do the quiz.... I don't pass!! ARGH!! What the hell am I doing? Who the hell do I think I am? Dammit writing these words is making me want to cry, but since I am sitting outside with my friends (neighbors) I am trying to keep it together.

I get a letter from my husband telling me that he hopes I am keeping the housework up.... HAHA, I laugh, HAHA, that is hilarious!!! I can't keep my mind together what makes him think I can keep that together? What was I thinking when I got this job. It seems that I (once again) put too much on my plate. Way to go AMBER!

I think I need to go for a long run, just to figure all this stuff out. I wish I could stop pushing myself into guilty thoughts because I asked my friend to help me with my kids, and she said yes, but I feel like I am an asshole for asking. How do I get myself to stop thinking this way? Anyone? Anyone? Nope, no body? OK, well then guess I am on my own.

Thanks for reading and if you haven't left me, thanks too!

Amber (one crazy chick)